We’ve all heard the phrase, “I would never actually do it.”
Usually it’s said after someone admits they’re angry enough to imagine telling off a coworker, cutting ties with a family member, or getting even with someone who hurt them.
Most of us assume there’s a safe distance between what we feel and what we actually do.
The Bible warns us not to be so confident. We read this in Genesis 37:18-24:
18 But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.
Genesis 37:18-24, New International Version
19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other.
20 “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”
21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father.
23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— 24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
Joseph’s brothers didn’t wake up one morning and decide to murder him. Their hatred had been growing for years. Every reminder of their father’s favoritism deepened the wound. Every dream Joseph shared fueled their resentment. They replayed the offense until bitterness became their constant companion.
Then one day, opportunity knocked.
“When they saw him from a distance…they plotted to kill him” (Genesis 37:18). What had lived in their hearts finally demanded action.
Sin rarely stays contained.
Bitterness whispers that you’re only feeling something. Anger tells you it’s just an emotion. Jealousy convinces you it’s harmless because no one else knows.
But unchecked sin always wants more.
Jesus would later teach that murder begins long before a weapon is ever picked up. It starts in the heart (Matthew 5:21-22). That’s why Scripture repeatedly urges us to deal with bitterness before it takes root. A poisonous root doesn’t stay underground forever; eventually it produces visible fruit.
Thankfully, Reuben intervenes and keeps the brothers from carrying out their murderous plan. Instead, Joseph is stripped of his robe and thrown into a dry cistern. Even then, the damage caused by unchecked hatred is devastating. Relationships are shattered, trust is destroyed, and a family begins a downward spiral that will affect every one of them.
How many broken friendships, divided churches, fractured families, and damaged marriages began the same way? They don’t start with a dramatic act, but with resentment that was never surrendered to the Lord.
The lesson is clear: don’t wait until your emotions become actions.
Take your anger to Jesus while it’s still small. Refuse to replay the offense. Pray for the person who wounded you. Have the hard conversation if reconciliation is possible. Ask the Holy Spirit to expose any bitterness you’ve been excusing.
The battle against hatred is rarely won in the moment of action. It’s won much earlier, in the quiet moments when we choose forgiveness over resentment and trust the Lord with the hurts we cannot fix ourselves.
Ask the Lord today, “Is there anyone I’m allowing bitterness to grow against?” Write down the first name that comes to mind. Pray for that person by name, and ask Jesus to begin replacing resentment with grace. Don’t wait for hatred to mature. Deal with it while it’s still in the heart.
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